Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. 

Day 8 of my 110 days of practicing being more courageous” Project

With the smell of gloom from this past weekend still lingering heavily in the air, I refuse to start another week burdened with a feeling of apprehension. I do not care whether my body has decided this it the best time to succumb to a punishing cold which is making my nose run, head spin and my body weak unable to even update my blog.

If it wasn’t this painful, it’s would definitely be hilarious. It all feels as cruel as it sounds. I have a heartbroken young man in my spare bedroom, a inquisitive and hyper toddler laden with his school run demands, a crazy social work full-on week schedule, a sick body yet I am also supposed to be dedicating a huge chunk of this week to getting my bearings around my MSc Psychology conversion course. Its officially University week 1!

I am choosing to see this week for what it is- a new season with new potentials and possibilities littered all over it!  I enter it full of excitement, wonderment and expectant as to how it pan out after I have sprinkled a bit of my good charm and energy.

I am reminded of what is said on joy in the classic book “The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran”

“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. 

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. 

And how else can it be? 

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. “

So, I feel my “courageous self” project is taking a whole new meaning and direction all of a sudden, yet fundamentally still the same path. It’s all about how I handle this challenge and disappointment after-all and still or must triumph in the end. I am focused on getting my boy up and running.

I am more determined to pull my son through this and whatever sorrow has carved into his being, thus roaring joy shall occupy when all is said and done.

If at all he inherited any virtuous character from me, I pray it be having a bounceability attitude.

Linzi Drew’s autobiographical book “Try everything once except incest and Morris dancing” is exactly my current mantra as I tackle this week head-on. My son will find his calling in life and will smile again. Unlike Linzi, I am definitely going to try even Morris dancing! 😊

 So week, bring it on!!

“Day 1 of my “110 days of practicing being more courageous” Project

After being reliably notified by Alexa that there are only 110days left to New year- I came up with this idea. Yep! its true 110days left to the 1st of January 2022. Goodness me- where and what happened to 2021? So, as a result I am giving myself a challenge to new year to try and blog daily till then. So, of course I need a plan. Given that I journal daily- that shouldn’t be hard right?

I am usually a very determined person in many areas. I just seem to keep going no matter what but I know that I do lack in the area of being assertive and bold in my decision-making. This has always been an area I really want to spruce up. So, I am going to spotlight this area in the coming 110days- learn all I can and change all I can and see where that may lead me.

So, in doing so, I am also pinning myself to the ground in order to achieve some consistency with my blog writing habit. On face value, I am seeing some high potential for a boost in my psyche and becoming more courageous in the following areas of life and know I will probably pick more areas as I go along. Hello, I am sincerely hoping that some of these wonderful and fundamental areas needing attention within my character will present themselves naturally and squarely stare at me to deal with along the way. So for today from the top of my head: – I will spotlight my courageous self in these areas:

•  Social relationships (partner, children, friends),

•  Structuring my time (work, study, hobbies, parenting)

•  Prospects (basic attitude, /point of view/perspective, opportunities of growing my side hustles)

•  Money and vitality. How I can exponentially transform and how I can boost my health and my net worth through my daily exercise and current day job and other streams of income I am currently exploring and pursuing.

I am mindful that probably my courage project may and will not usher in 100% successful days and be plain sailing; but I will aim high- besides what did Mamie Brown’s boy #Les Brown say about aiming high

“Most people fail in life not because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and hit.”

So, I will aim to reach for the sun and believe I can achieve this. However, if not I may just about manage to secure various little glimpses of courageous me and lay the foundation for more moments of courage in so doing. I am determined to take small, constructive baby steps such as being bold and fearless in making those decisions and aim to fix this area once and for all. I am also rubbish in the area of punctuality such as appointments (not so much though these day – thank goodness for virtual meetings, it really makes it so much better without any driving involved since Covid-19 started). I do though want to be better at being on time in general and eventually have a system and a more balanced everyday life with my family, colleagues, customers and friends.

I want to experience loads as I discover more and find as many interesting things about myself along the way too. If nothing at all, or if I do get stuck- I will revert back to my pre-established motto that Its part of my learning and growing and I will get better. After all, I do have a teachable spirit in general and I tend to learn things easily and enjoy it too. So should anything go wrong such as failing to keep up due to demands on my time, this will not be a deal-breaker and if I found myself falling behind a few times I will simply dust myself up and start again. So, in general I’m really excited to be actually embarking on this at such a time as this. What more, after reading Marie Forleo’s “Everything is figureoutable”; I really think that I will figure this out somehow.

I really am I sucker for pain I know, starting such a project when I’m also starting my MSc in Psychology.  So, to hell with moaning and whining- what I need is to be super organised! So you may ask why psychology. Well, how this came about was through really serious self-talk. I came to a place where I was no longer enjoying doing my beloved Social Work and found myself dreading the thought of even getting up to go to work!  This for me was panic time, because I always thought I was built to be a social worker and I loved being a social worker so it was really difficult to find myself not enjoying the job that I so wanted to do for such a long time and here I was finally doing it but I was not enjoying it any more. What was going on- I needed answers.

 Thus, following a lengthy navel-gazing I became aware of this and understood that I was simply burning out. I knew I needed to do something and I just couldn’t continue like this. So, it was either continuing along until I totally collapse as a social worker or I take a break and explore other passions and maybe return to it in the future. So as a result of that, I am transitioning from social work for now. I still honestly think social work is a beautiful profession.  Social work can be so beautiful and rewarding but it’s also very very challenging. There are days I absolutely struggle to do the basic such as just writing up a visit and find that so stressful. Yet other wonderful days I find myself so invigorated when I get to see results working with amazing children and their families, I may have initially held very little hope for in the progress or change department. At times, when a case that’s been so complex and dire that I am made to feel so inadequate suddenly turns for the better and a breakthrough emerges, and that’s when I actually think to myself- Oh my goodness-its either I am such a lucky fish or I’m not that bad at this am I?

Although I am transitioning for now- my passion remains and has always been to help children achieve better outcomes in life. Therefore, I found myself questioning the best way of doing so without the bureaucracy that comes with social work. The paperwork and processes can relentless and punishing and this was really killing my mojo. So, I sought really hard as to which area I could actually continue working with children and maybe achieves more or less the same really positive outcomes for them without the bureaucracy of social work?

 So, the next step in my research led me to the discovery of Educational Psychology. I leant that they kinda more or less do the same thing of achieving positive outcomes for children in the education area. So, long story short, that’s why I am converting to psychology to enable me to do my PhD in Education Psychology in the near future.

So, hopefully at the end of these 110days, I will see the pattern emerging in all areas of my life and maybe notice a beautiful template I can wash, rinse start over again and apply it to other areas of my life.

Step out today- its a new day

Let go of the people who dull your shine, poison your spirit, and bring you drama. Cancel your subscription to their issues.

Steve Maraboli

This morning as I got up I had such a beautiful feeling that I had accomplished something. What? I suppose being up. However I know more so, the fact that I finally got this blog up and running. I can be as crazy as I want to and be as creative as I can be. Besides, its a a new day to get active again.

Its Monday and I tend to feel a little deflected on a Monday morning when I think of the week ahead- be it that difficult core group meeting or a Reviewing Child Protection Conference (RCPC)or that unfinished Parenting Assessment I definitely know the Independent chair is so keen to see by Tuesday! In fact, most of the above are actually for real this week! However I am not fretting- it doesn’t solve nothing. Besides, by Friday I will have crossed this ridiculous worrying bridge- regardless of how I will have done it. It may involve a sleepless night today as I race against time to complete the Parenting assessment or that RCPC report- all I know is- it will be done- its always done.

Its typically so for most safeguarding Social Workers to forego their weekends in order to stay on top of stuff. The volume can be punishing- what with endless Statutory Visits, Direct Work with children, sessions with parents to complete assessments. The write ups can be ridiculous that your family would complain that your face is forever glued on your works laptop. Needless to say that COVID-19 and working from home has not helped the situation as it has meant more work in terms of admin volumes. You can easily find yourself going 16hrs none-stop- no wonder most Social Workers are finding themselves burning out.

Not me, not this weekend. Regardless of how much I very much know I have on my plate at the moment- I refused to entertain my works computer. I was tempted a few times but was able to prep talk myself into giving my family some attention. In this profession where you are ever worrying about the wellbeing of the children you case manage- its very easy to then neglect your own family. It takes so much discipline, self control and being super organised to successfully separate what you do and who you are with ease. Over the years and with some experience under your belt, and above all with a supportive team and Manager- you get the balance finally semi-decent. For years I struggled- but I am getting there. The truth is to last in Social Work- you really have to manage this area well. Thus, pacing yourself and taking very good care of your wellbeing by exercising, meditating and staying super positive goes a long way to keeping you sane and productive.

So, I am off to doing exactly that – these days I brisk walk for about an hour first thing before another excitingly crazy day of playing catch up begins.

Bear With Me or Bare With Me–Which Is Right? | Grammarly